It Only Makes Me Laugh
by abby-sarajane
Summary: It's Seto's turn to have issues! Ratings for implied well, stated but not shown GozaburaSeto. Yes, it is that scary. Seto is in a mental institution, and his Stepfather put him there.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Heavilly AU... based on the guess that Gozabura really was as twisted a little fuck as everyone thinks, and, well... poor Seto. First introduction to Tasmin Witherspoon, although you don't really get her name here. 

Disclaimer: I still don't own them. I only own Tasmin... and she has issues. I also own my weird-ass ideas about this sort of thing... And the song lyrics don't belong to me either, they belong to Danny Elfman of Oingo Boingo. The song is "It Only Makes Me Laugh." Go listen to it.

I wasn't crazy when they put me in here, believe it or not.

I suppose I am now, but that hardly matters.

No one believes me still, no matter what I say, what proof stares them in the face.

I told them, four years ago, that my stepfather raped and otherwise physically abused me. I was playing his game, his way. For a while, it seemed like I was winning.

I lost anyway.

Damn the resources money can buy you... Psychiatrists, judges, hospitals, doctors... all bought by my stepfather to get me in here.

I can see how people would think I'm crazy... I am, now.

I wasn't then. I was sharp, intelligent and ready for anything. Except this. Except being taken away from the world and locked away.

I did everything for my brother... everything I had to do for him, I did... I sold my body, my will, my soul and now my sanity for Mokuba.

Too bad that last one backfired straight up my ass.

I willingly- such as it was- let Gozabura do anything his sick little mind desired to me, as long as he kept his hands off of my little brother. But with me out of the way, he could do whatever he wanted to Mokuba.

The last time I saw my brother, his eyes were dead. I'd killed his soul. It was my fault.

My damned stepfather and his damned games. I had no choice... I had to play by his rules. Down at his level. How was it my fault he kept changing them in the middle of the game?

He still stops by every now and again to gloat and to tell me what he's doing now to ruin the people I loved and knew.

Yugi Mouto's grandfather lost his store.

Katsuya Jounouchi is somewhere... probably out on the street by now.

Ryou Bakura spent several weeks in jail before mysteriously disappearing. Looks like Ryou wasn't able to cope with it and let his other personality take over. Who knows where they are now...

Isis Ishtar was deported back to Egypt with her brothers after Marik and Malik broke in here to try and give me the Millennium Rod. They ended up locked in one of the cells, where they proceeded to have sex constantly until their sister arrived.

I don't know where the Rod is now. But I need it. I don't know why. But I do. Maybe that's why I'm crazy, and Gozabura has nothing to do with it...

No... that bastard definitely has something to do with it...

Apparently I have a wife. I've never really met her. I've seen her twice... the first time, she looked like a strong, stubborn, capable woman... The sort of woman I would love to fight with, love to hate... a woman I could possibly care for someday.

I saw her a few weeks ago. She was pale, much thinner, almost sickly-looking. She never _once_ looked up at me. Gozabura had that smug look on his face that told me everything I needed to know. That and the fact that her stomach was rather large for someone so thin.

And since it's obviously not _my_ child...

I didn't eat for three days after that. Food made me sick.

I need to get out of this place... I'm not crazy, I swear... I just need to get out...

And after that...

_That's_ when I go crazy.

Get _my_ Millennium Rod... go to save _my_ wife, _my_ brother...

And kill my stepfather.

What a joyous day that will be...


	2. Get the Ball Rolling

Disclaimer: I still don't own. Sorry.

Tasmin Witherspoon had had enough. She was tired of being Gozabura Kaiba's pretty little doll. One way or another, she had to fix everything.

From what she could see, that meant Gozabura Kaiba's death.

Not that she was vengeful or spiteful or anything. Of course not.

Her hand rested on her stomach and she winced. _I don't _want_ it! I don't want to bear _his_ child... God, I didn't even want to bear _Seto's_! Why do I have to do this? Why is this happening to _me

The answer, as usual, was bitter and immediate. _Because Father didn't give a _damn_ about you. He _knew_ what he was sending you into and he didn't give a _damn

She curled up on the couch and sighed softly. Mokuba should be home from school soon. Then she could go over and see Seto.

Since she had started to show in her pregnancy, Gozabura had begun taking her back to Seto. She knew why, too. He simply wanted to gloat to his adopted son that, once again, Gozabura had taken something from him. It was something that deeply ashamed her, and she was determined to right everything, even if it meant her own death.

Which, with Gozabura's power and influence, wasn't an unlikely thing.

"Neechan?"

She slowly sat up and smiled at Mokuba as he walked into the room. "Hello, lad... Did you have a good day at school?"

"Oh, it was ok..." Mokuba sat down and immediately cuddled up to her. "Are you feeling better?"

Tasmin forced her expression to remain pleasant. "Oh, much better, yes, of course..."

Mokuba winced. "Sorry... Stupid question."

Tasmin remained silent. Once upon a time, she would've responded with "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

But that was a long time ago. Back before Gozabura. Back when she still had her strength. Now, there wasn't much left of her spirit. What was left of it was focused on freeing Seto.

She had to get that Rod thing in Gozabura's office to Seto. That was all she knew. She'd held it once, when Gozabura had taken it from the asylum. It had felt as if something was crawling around inside her head. She'd let go quickly, dropping it with a yelp. She'd tried to tell Gozabura what she had felt, and had been punished for making up lies.

She was punished for an awful lot nowadays. It seemed like he just liked to hurt her. Then again, that wouldn't surprise her.

She closed her eyes and just rested on the couch, cuddling Mokuba as if he were her own personal teddy bear. She remembered that strange crawling feeling and shivered. Even now, it felt like someone else was sharing her mind, someone else was seeing her past. She slipped into a doze, and began to have vauge image-flashes. Some were familiar. Some were most definitely not.

_"You've got to stay strong, Tas... just be yourself, all right? I can't stay here anymore..."_

_**Long stretches of pale dunes, falling away to a river as green as a cat's eye...**_

_"Afraid of the dark, little sister? Poor thing, we'll help you get used to it..." _

_**"You will always be less than the Pharaoh."**_

_"You're going to learn quickly that I get what I want, girl."_

_**"Do you think that you're truly better than me? You're about to learn differently." **_

_"What sort... of sick fuck... has a torture chamber... next to his office?"  
"I do. And I enjoy having it."_

_**He lost, his world shattered... He truly was second to the Pharaoh...**_

_She waited and waited, but her period never came, and she watched in horror as her stomach slowly grew day by day..._

_**Darkness and cold and fear and darkdarkdark forever...**_

Tasmin shook her head violently and blinked. Mokuba had been yanking on her arm. "Neechan? Why did you go to Father's office?"

Tasmin blinked some more and shook her head. "I... I'm not sure... I was dreaming... My memories... and someone _else's_..." She moved forward and looked around.

The object that the nurse had said was called the Millennium Rod was in a case in Gozabura's office. The case was shattered, the Rod was glowing with a light that was _not_ natural.

Transfixed, Tasmin moved over and picked up the Rod. Her eyes unfocused and glazed over as she headed for the door.

Mokuba blinked and ran after her. "Neechan? Neechan! Tasmin! Where are we going?"

Tasmin's voice was oddly blank. "To Hikari."

Mokuba blinked, blinked again, then hurried after her. "Wait- wait, neechan, wait for me!"

A/N: Yeah... I didn't expect anyone to actually _like_ my fics... this was supposed to be a one-shot, but people wanted more, so... well... I hope they like it... : shifty eyes:

**Dark Magician Girl/Hikaru:** Thank you for reviewing! Here's the more you want... Since, well, you asked so nicely. : shifty eyes:

**nicole-purple:** Bah! You live next to me, Marik... I know where you live...

And thanks to everyone who reveiwed "White Flag". It's just a one-shot, which I've not put a notice of, sorry I didn't do that earlier... but yeah! Thanks again!

...oh, and review, please? I have horrible self-esteem and reviews help so much... : nods:


	3. Insanity

Disclaimer: See Ch2 

Seto Kaiba rocked back and forth in his cell. For once, they hadn't given him any drugs. As a result, he was almost sane. It hurt. He had had it in his fingers... the Millennium Rod, the thing that would save him and destroy his stepfather...

And it had been torn away from him.

He was furious. And sick. And so very, very cold.

That could've been withdrawal, but he doubted it. God knew he'd had enough withdrawals to know the symptoms. No, this was the hollow, aching chill of having something- something he needed more than _anything_- just within his grasp, and then losing it.

He was tired as well. So _damned_ tired... he needed a nail, a file, anything, something even mildly sharp, and it could slice his forearm straight to the bone and he could bleed and bleed and bleed and finally _rest_...

He could give up. He'd never given up before. It sounded so nice. So peaceful.

It would mean leaving Mokuba. Leaving Tasmin. Leaving the Millennium Rod and everything it could have held for him. But he was starting to not care.

Maybe he had stopped caring a long time ago. But, if that was the case, why did his stomach twist itself into knots every time Tasmin came to him? Why did it hurt him to send his brother back to face Gozabura every time he came to see him? Why did he want the Rod so damned _much_...?

Now he had a pounding headache.

_This day just can't get worse._

The door to his cell opened and Tasmin and Mokuba stepped in. Tasmin had a strange, otherworldly look to her; she hardly even seemed to know where she was. Mokuba looked slightly frantic. "Niichan, I'm sorry, but I don't know what's wrong with her..."

He slowly sat up and stretched. The days Tasmin came to see him, he didn't have to wear that damn straightjacket. "Calm down, Mokuba, I'm sure there's a reason... it might just be a pregnancy thing..."

"Hikari." Tasmin said dully, with no inflection in her voice.

Now Seto sat up and took notice. "Tasmin, what's wrong with you?"

"I have something for you," she said, voice still oddly flat. "Something you desire greatly..." She pulled the Rod out from the waistband of her pants and held it out. "It's rightfully yours."

Seto all but tore it from her fingers. "_Mine!_" He cradled it to his chest, staring at it as a father would his first child, eyes full of wonder and glee. "It's finally mine..." he whispered.

Mokuba looked between Tasmin, who suddenly just sat down hard, and his brother, who seemed in an almost orgasmic state of bliss. "Did I miss something?"

"I don't know," Tasmin said tiredly. "Oh, _God_, I don't feel good..."

Mokuba looked over at Seto. "Um... should we leave him here like this?"

Tasmin smiled slowly. "You want the truth, Mokuba? He's never been safer or saner... He'll be fine. Let's go home..."

Mokuba chewed his lip. "That's not such a good idea, neechan... Father's going to be awfully upset when he realizes that the Rod is missing..."

Tasmin had a strange smile on her face, and she nodded. "Yes. Yes he will..."

Mokuba bit his lip. Maybe it was better if he didn't ask. After all, if he didn't know, he couldn't tell anyone, right? Of course...

He quietly followed his sister-in-law out of the asylum. She trembled and collapsed in the limo. _I'm going to die. He's going to be furious... He's going to kill me._ She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. _I don't care anymore. I don't._

She was silent for the rest of the ride back to the mansion, brooding.

Seto didn't even realize they were gone. He simply continued to cradle the Rod in his arms, heedless of the blinding glow that was emanating from it. It felt as if he were drifting on a warm, golden tide, and the aching chill and emptiness he had felt for years finally slipped away.

For the first time in millennia, High Priest Seth saw light. He blinked, confused, and looked around. "This isn't hell," he said, sounding rather bemused.

_/Who the _hell_ are you/_ Seto snapped, surprised and confused now.

The other being had to think for a long moment._I... I believe I am Seth... The High Priest of... the Pharaoh..._

Seto didn't know whether or not to start laughing. _I've finally gone mad..._

Seth slowly looked at his hands. _I am... alive? Or... not dead, perhaps would be a better term... but... how?_

Seto just slid down the wall of his soulroom, laughing weakly. _I've finally lost it... Finally gone off the deep end. 'Round the bend..._

Seth looked around more. "Neh... Hikari- where _are_ we?"

Seto blinked now and tried to stifle his semi-hysterical laughter. _/We're at the asylum.../_

The other him blinked and looked very confused.

Seto sighed now. This was going to get annoying. Why couldn't he get a second personality with a small bit of intelligence? _/A place where they put the legally insane./_

Seth blinked and growled a bit. _You are not insane!_

Seto felt another hysterical chuckle rise. _/Aren't I/_

"No!" The spirit stood up. "You are _not_ insane! You are perfectly healthy. I should know."

_/Oh, _that's_ encouraging/_ Seto said dryly. _/I feel so much better now./_

Seth growled faintly, then tried to calm himself down. The Shadows were still too fresh in his memory, and his soul still felt ragged around the edges... _Why are you here?_

_/Because I'm insane./_

He made an irritated noise. _Who put you here?_

Seto shifted and curled up a bit on the bed in his soulroom. _/My adopted father.../_

Seth growled to himself. Seto didn't know how to shield his thoughts very well at all. The images, emotions and memories he was getting from his other half were giving him an outlet for his anger, and it was very effective. "He must _die_."

Seto sat up some and grinned a bit. _/Now you're speaking my language.../ I may be insane... but I'll take that bastard out if it kills me..._

Seth blinked in confusion until he realized it was a figure of speech. _First, we must get out. Out _now.

Seto looked faintly bitter. _/Why bother? There isn't any way out.../_

Seth grinned, and it had a distinctly nasty edge to it. _You didn't have me before._

The thin, pale boy looked at the taller, darker form. _I... should I trust him? He... he looks like me... Like what Ryou and Yugi had... I don't know... /...sure.../ _he finally said, very softly.

His grin grew, if possible, even wider. _Good. Then I'll need to use our body for a bit longer, if you do not mind..._

_/Just get me out of here./_ Seto said, settling back into his old, worn pattern of use and sharp words.

_As you wish,_ his other half said, and curled up on the bed, and waited. His plan would work soon enough, as soon as the nurse opened the door to give him food...

Then he would repay the man who hurt his other, blow for blow.

A/N: ... beh. It sucks. Dun care. Deal with it. Next chapter will be much, much better. : nods:

**Dark Magician Girl/ Hikaru: **Thanks again, and here's the neck chapter! Next one might take a bit to get out, though... got two major tests and two quizzes this week... . But the next chapter will be out soon, promise!

**leafzelindor:** Roomie: glomps: Bwahahahaa... if you don't like it, then I would have no reason to post it... XD


	4. All You Zombies

Disclaimer: Don't own. Can't think of anything witty. Sorry.

Tasmin meditated on her bed. She had done everything in the book that she could that Gozabura loathed. She had laid out a reading of tarot cards. She had lit incense and taken out her crystals and a few other magickal things she owned still.

Since he was going to kill her anyway, she might as well go down in a blaze of glory. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead and all that...

Dying unlike she had lived.

_How did that go? "If this is to be our end, I would have it be such an end, as to be worthy of remembrance..." _She sighed and looked at the tarot cards, strewn out on her bed. Five of Cups, The Devil, then Death. _Doesn't look very promising to me, but hell... I think I'm pretty much past the point of no return... and past caring anyway._

She closed her eyes and relaxed, letting the litanies her grandmother taught her drift through her mind slowly. _No matter what happens, I am prepared. _Her eyes opened again, and her mouth curled up in a humorless smirk. _And it doesn't matter, because either way, I get rid of the _thing_ inside me..._

She knew all about anti-abortionists... she had once been one herself. This changed all that. She had been tied down, chained to walls, chained to ceilings, then raped over and over and over until finally...

Even if her soul went straight to hell, she wanted the spawn out of her body. She had been through hell already- she failed to see how it could be worse than the room next to Gozabura Kaiba's office.

Gozabura was in a sour mood as it was. His business meeting had gone badly, and as he stormed up to his office, he caught the scent of incense and turned, throwing the door to Tasmin's room open. "Get rid of that _garbage_," he spat, slamming the door, then turning and stalking down the hall to his office. He didn't wait around to watch her. He _knew_ his order would be obeyed.

It wasn't.

He entered his office and relaxed. Soon, the woman would be in to wait on him and he could... vent his frustrations out on her. She deserved a punishment for having that incense anyway. She knew that was forbidden here. He smirked and sat back, thinking of how to torment her, letting his gaze drift over the room. It slowly drifted over the shattered case of the Millennium Rod, then snapped back to it. _What?_

Tasmin hadn't moved from her cross-legged position as Gozabura kicked the door to her room wide open. "What have you done with that artifact?" He demanded, stalking over to her.

She didn't answer right away. In fact, she appeared not to have heard him at all. Furious, he struck her across the cheek, hard, snarling. "Little _whore_, I'll teach you to ignore me!"

Tasmin spun out of her sitting position and slammed into the headboard and dropped down, slightly dazed, then her eyes sharpened on him. "Hm? What was that?"

Gozabura ground his teeth. "_You_ did something with the artifact that was in my office! What was it! And don't you _dare_ lie to me, girl..."

Tasmin shrugged. "It wanted to go home to its owner..."

Gozabura's eyes narrowed. "Don't insult my intelligence. Inanimate objects don't _want_ things..."

Tasmin shrugged again and smiled at him. "It did. It had someone inside of it."

Gozabura hit her again, just because he could. She deserved it, after all. "If you're going to lie to me, make up a plausible story, if you'd be so _kind_..."

Tasmin just laughed breathlessly and licked at her bleeding lip. "If you don't believe the truth, there is no lie to tell."

He struck her again, then leaned down nose-to-nose with her. "Then who is this 'rightful owner' of yours?"

Tasmin managed a smirk. "Who do you think it is? _You_?"

"Don't you _dare_ talk like that to me," Gozabura snarled. "Show me the respect I deserve..."

"You don't deserve the respect one gives sewage," Tasmin spat weakly.

Gozabura stood and dragged her up with him. "I deserve it more than any other!"

Tasmin just shook her head. "A bully with bigger toys than everyone else..." she mumbled. "Seto is a thousand times the man you will ever be..."

"_Seto_ is locked in a _mental institution_, and there he will _stay_!" Gozabura growled, shaking her sharply. The only response he got was a dry, if weak, chuckle. "Unless you- you _wouldn't_..."

Tasmin grinned at him. "For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee..."

Gozabura's face showed brief fear before he struck her again, letting her drop to the floor this time. "_Bitch_... You're going to _pay_ for helping him to escape..."

Tasmin laughed harshly and got to her knees. "How can I pay? I'm already broke..."

"You'll be 'broke' even more when _I'm_ done with you, girl..." he hauled her to her feet roughly and threw her on the bed. "But _first_, I have to stop my son..."

"_No_." Tasmin rose and leaped on him, digging her nails into his shoulders. "I won't _let_ you!"

"Get _off_ of me!" Gozabura easily picked her off and threw her against a wall. "You're just asking to be hurt, aren't you?"

Tasmin laughed breathlessly. "I'm just trying to win..."

"That'll never happen," Gozabura scoffed, picked her up and threw her on the bed again. "Perhaps you'd like a reminder of that..."

Tasmin spat weakly at him. "Go to hell!"

Gozabura smirked. "You're already there, my dear. I think you should lie there and be silent now."

"Never!" She scrambled back up and lunged for him again. "I won't give up! Not this time!"

Gozabura side-stepped neatly, and smirked, rolling up his sleeves. "Well, then, I'll just have to give you a reminder lesson..."

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Seth slipped over the back wall of the Kaiba property and stalked through the trees. Escaping the asylum had been child's play for him. Then again, he had the magical powers of the Millennium Rod, and he was healthy, strong, and not drugged...

_You're certain you know where you're going?_

Seth sighed quietly. _:Yes, hikari, I'm sure... I have all your memories, remember:_

Seto fell silent. _Oh..._Silence for a bit longer. _...all of them?_

_:Yes.:_

_Oh..._

More silence between them as Seth stealthily approached the house. His skin was crawling. There should be guards all over the place, and he had to focus all this attention on avoiding them, clouding their minds so that they did not notice the pale boy in the hospital scrubs heading up to the house.

He was nearly there... a hundred yards... ninety... eighty... He jerk violently as a female shriek of pain tore through the night air.

_Tasmin!_ Seto's voice was filled with surprised and a metallic bite of fear and rage. _Get up there _now

_:As you wish, hikari.:_ Seth broke into a dead sprint, ignoring the shocked guards and racing up into the house. He sped past Mokuba, who managed a startled "Niichan?" and raced up the stairs towards the room where the scream had come from.

Gozabura smirked down at the limp form of Tasmin, curled up at the base of the far wall of the bedroom. "I hope you're learned your lesson..."

Tasmin coughed weakly, wiping blood from her mouth. "Oh, I've learned something all right... You don't... give a _damn_ about... your own... flesh and blood..."

The older man looked confused, before realization dawned on his face. "The baby..." His expression contorted with fury and then he regained control. "It doesn't matter... you'll be pregnant again before the year is out..." He hauled her to her feet and threw her on the bed.

She struggled weakly. "No..."

"Yes..." He smirked down at her. "I own you... I always have, and I always will. Just like I own Seto."

As Tasmin struggled to deny that and get to her feet, she cried out weakly and collapsed. Gozabura glanced at the blood starting to trickle down her legs and sneered. "Weakling." He turned. "Now to make sure my good for nothing son stayed where he was. If he knew what was good for him-"

The door exploded open and Seth stormed in. He too one look at the situation and stopped dead, paling even more than he had been before. Gozabura looked stunned, then drew himself up and smirked. "Seto..."

Seto grabbed control of his body back before Seth could blink, snarled, then lunged for Gozabura. His stepfather had been expecting something of the sort, and brought his fist up and slammed it into Seto's face. Stunned, the other boy fell, and Seth snatched control back. His head rang, and the coppery taste of bloody filled his moth and nostrils, choking him. He couldn't focus. A hand grabbed his hair and yanked him to his feet.

"_Idiot_ boy..." Gozabura hissed into his face. "You're going to _regret_ this..."

Seth's vision turned black and he snarled. "Let me go... Stop!"

Gozabura quickly punched him in the stomach. "Shut up, boy..."

Seth's fingers wrapped around the older man's arm and squeezed, crushing the muscle to the bone. "_I. Said. Stop._"

Gozabura gasped sharply. It had been a long time since someone had managed to hurt him like this. "What- _who_ are you?"

Seth grinned and brought up the Rod. "I am your death."

Gozabura actually blanched before recovering his blustering facade. "What nonsense are you spewing now, you lunatic?"

Seth's grin grew impossibly wide. "You're about to find out. My Seto says to think of what it's like to be held down and tormented... locked away and drugged... and it'll all seem so real... Goodbye." Without any further ado, he held the Rod up and tore Gozabura's soul from his body and flung it into the furthest reaches of the Shadow Realm. He then fell to his knees, as Gozabura's body convulsed, then collapsed.

"Niichan? Oh, God, _neechan_..." He hurried into the room and took Tasmin's hand. "Neechan?" He turned quickly to Seth. "Seto, help me!"

Seth wiped blood form his nose and coughed wetly. "What?" He looked at Mokuba with confusion, then shook his head. "No, no I am not your Seto..."

Mokuba blinked, but caught on much faster than his stepfather. "Are you his yami then?"

Seth nodded weakly. "I am... I am Seth..."

Mokuba grabbed his hand. "I'm gonna call a doctor! Neechan's really sick..."

Seth glanced over at Tasmin and paled again. "Tasmin... Yes! Yes, call a Healer, now!" He scrambled over to Tasmin's side as Seto took over.

"Tasmin... Damn him..." He held her hand as Mokuba ran to the phone. "Just hold on..."

Her eyes fluttered a bit and she moaned, but didn't regain consciousness. Mokuba ran out at the fastest speed he could. He hoped that he wasn't too late.

A/N: Ok... explanations... The tarot reading is a three-card reading, Past, Present and Future cards. **"Five of Cups"**: _Partial loss, regret, friendship without real meaning, marriage without real love, inheritance, incomplete union or partnership._ Tasmin's past card. **"The Devil"**: _Subordination, ravage, bondage, malevolence, subservience, downfall, lack of success, weird experience, bad outside influence or advice, black magic, unexpected failure, inability to realize one's goals, violence, shock fatality, self-punishment, temptation to evil, self-destruction._ Tasmin's present card. **"Death"**: _Transformation, clearing away the old to make the new, unexpected change, loss, alteration, abrupt change of the old self though not necessarily physical death, the ending of a familiar situation or friendship, financial loss, beginning of a new era, illness, possibly death. _Tasmin's future card.

"If this is to be our end..." From LotR:TTT, King Theoden...

"For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee..." are some of Captain Ahab's last words. Also some of Khan Noonian Singh's last words from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. _Best_ fucking Star Trek movie... except for "Voyage Home"... and "First Contact"... yeah...


	5. Carry On Wayward Son

Seto slumped outside Tasmin's room. The doctor had bodily thrown him out. The baby was dead, and it had to be removed.

Even he shuddered at that thought. At least she was unconscious, and likely to remain so, with the drugs the doctor had given her...

He started and looked up as Mokuba sat down in front of him. "Mokuba..." He tried to sit up, and it took a lot more energy than he remembered it taking before. "Are- are you all right?"

Mokuba nodded, chewing his lip. "I... Niichan, I..." He stopped trying to talk and just lunged for him and hugged him and tightly as he could. Seto woofed as the impact knocked him back into the wall, but he hugged him back just as tightly. "Niichan I missed you so much and I didn't know what to do without you and he was so _mean_ and he hurt me and I couldn't escape..."

Seto just held and rocked his little brother while the tears came and went, just stroking his hair and trying to be as soothing as possible. It had been many years since he had had to play the soothing big brother. He'd almost forgotten how.

_But some things can never be forgotten..._ he reflected to himself as Mokuba huddled against him. _I will _never_ forget that I love Mokuba, that I will and have given up everything for him..._

Finally, Mokuba pulled away and looked at him. "Will neechan be ok?"

Seto sighed. He'd been dreading this question. "I don't know. I hope so."

Mokuba worried his lip. "I'm sorry, niichan... you know about- about everyone, right?"

"Everyone is dead or gone, yes..." Seto said sulkily.

Mokuba shook his head. "It's more than that, Seto... Yugi and his yami are working around, but Yugi's grandpa died... oh, not long after you'd been put away... Last I heard, Ryou Bakura had been spotted in Cairo, but that was over a year ago, who knows where he is now... The Ishtars are gone, nobody knows where they vanished to... remember Jounouchi's mom? His little sister? Well..." Mokuba chewed his lip. "He... had them killed... because they were associating with the Ishtars... who knew too much about the whole... _thing_."

Seto rubbed his forehead. "Nice to know the bastard's moral sense never showed up," he said dryly, hiding his real emotion behind his mask. _I'm responsible for people's deaths... _again_... just like before... dammit..._

"It's ok... I mean... No one blames you, Seto... no one ever found out..." Mokuba rubbed the back of his neck. "We're ok..."

Seto just shook his head. He didn't want excuses for more blotches on his soul. "What about Jounouchi? Any news of him?"

"No..." Mokuba bit his lip. "Nothing, niichan. He's just... vanished..."

"So he's probably dead like the others." Seto's voice was flat.

"We don't know that, Seto..." Mokuba tried weakly. "He might just be hiding out..."

Seto just shook his head. _I lose the only person who ever challenged me in a way that didn't _hurt_ me... and I gain a person who may have challenged me, but is so broken, I don't even know if she can survive..._

"I think he read your diary, niichan, that's why he did what he did to Jou..." Mokuba chewed his lip. "I... I'm sorry..."

Seto shook his head sharply. "Just... be quiet, Mokuba... be quiet and go play a game or something..."

"I'd rather sit here with you and wait for neechan to wake up..." Mokuba said very softly.

Seto bit back his reply of "Tasmin may not wake up," and sighed. "All right, Mokuba..."

His little brother curled up with him and sighed. "Thank you, niichan. I really want her to wake up... I'm worried..."

"I know," Seto said softly. _I'm worried too._

Mokuba just held onto him and waited. Seto, without really realizing it, clung to him as well, and grew more and more concerned as time went by. _Should it be taking this long? Did something go wrong? What if she died? Oh, God, what if she died? I hardly even know her, why should I care so much?_

_Because you, of all people, know what she went through..._ Seto's conscience spoke up. _She went through everything you did and more..._

After far too long of a wait for his liking, the door opened, and the doctor came out. Mokuba had fallen asleep in his arms, and he carefully shifted, standing and putting him on a small couch before turning to the doctor. "Well?" His voice was hoarse from disuse.

"She's unconscious, but all right." The doctor looked at him. "The child was, indeed, Mr. Kaiba's..."

"That's no surprise," Seto gestured sharply, "we were never intimate..."

The doctor nodded, rubbing his forehead with a sigh. "She has some residual damage... I'll have to check up on her later, but it's very possible that she may have problems having children in the future..."

Seto shrugged. "We'll work that out. The important thing is is that she'll live."

The doctor nodded. "Most definitely. She might have some vocal damage, she was being choked at some point, but it'll heal. She'll be just fine. Physically."

_Mentally..._ Seto knew that was another story. She probably had more mental and emotional scars than he did. And that was saying something. "When will she wake up?"

The doctor shrugged a bit. "Probably tomorrow. I gave her a fairly heavy dose, to make sure that she was out. Someone should sit with her all night, though."

Seto nodded. "That can be done." He turned and gently shook Mokuba awake, then nodded to the doctor. "Send us the bill." His lips twitched a bit at that.

The doctor's did as well and he bowed. "Yes, Mr. Kaiba. Oh..." he glanced over his shoulder at him. "I've made arrangements for Gozabura Kaiba's body... it appears he had a heart attack..."

Seto controlled his expression with all the ability he had. "That would not surprise me. He did many unhealthy things."

"Mm, I see," the doctor nodded and turned on his heel and headed out.

Mokuba sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Mm... Seto, what is it?"

Seto gently picked him up and moved into the bedroom where Tasmin now lay. She was pale as the sheets she lay on, and her breathing was slow and shallow. "I want you to stay with her, Mokuba," Seto said softly. "I need to go out for a bit..."

Mokuba smiled slightly. "Just to be free?"

Seto smiled back. "Yes... and... I want to see if I can find him."

Mokuba bit his lip. "Seto... he might not be out there..."

"But he might be." Seto's voice was firm. "If he is, I owe it to him to find him... to explain why he's been living in a hell..."

Mokuba sighed and nodded. "I'll keep an eye on Tasmin..." He lightly brushed the unconscious woman's hair back. "I'll call if anything happens. Take a cell phone, please..."

Seto nodded and turned. "I'll be back later, Mokuba. Watch over her carefully."

"Be safe," Mokuba whispered. He didn't want his brother leaving right now, but he understood. Besides, his big sister needed him, and he could help her just by being here.

He liked helping the people he loved.

Seto smirked to himself and patted the Rod. _Of course I'll be safe... I have _this_... And my yami..._

_:I am here for you, hikari-mine:_ Seth seemed much calmer now than before. _:Let us find this Jounouchi person.:_

_:Yes:_ Seto agreed quietly. He had a lot to explain to the blonde...

Starting with himself.

A/N: ... This sucks. Of course, I've just had a very bitchy time with an old HS friend who told me "You can be assertive when it's important and agree with me when I'm right."

... Someone wanna tell me what the fuck that means? So, anyway, this chapter kinda sucks... next one will be better... and everyone's gonna get a starting glimpse into what my friend and I call "the big fivesome". : smirks:

**Dark Magician Girl/ Hikaru:** I don't mind double reveiws. Glad you like... hope you keep liking with the new twists... : prays:

**nicolepurple:** Bah! I still say "Voyage Home" is best funniest, but "Wrath of Khan" is best for seriousness...

**AV0012:** Umm... will Seth/Jou/Seto/Tasmin/someone else be ok? Trust me, yes, trust us...

**leafzelindor:** Yay: bounces: Chapter Five... ooooh... XD


	6. I Don't Mind At All

Seto was rather glad he'd dressed down for his search through the city. It hadn't changed much from what he remember, which meant the part of town where he was most likely to find Jou was still a shithole. He simply turned up the collar of his short leather jacket and quickened his pace. As long as he looked like he belonged, he wouldn't be bothered.

If someone bothered him, they'd regret it.

He had no idea what he was looking for. His memories of Jou were probably vastly different than the Jou he was searching for.

_Hopefully he'll still have that big mouth of his..._ Seto shook his head a bit. _Only Jounouchi would come out of this without being snapped in half..._ He paused, brooding a bit, glancing down a dark alley. _Maybe that's why I found him attractive... he was strong, stronger than me in some ways._ He felt slightly bitter at that thought, but forced it back. _If he's still alive, he may still be that strong._

He sighed and leaned against the nearest sanitary wall. _How am I going to find Jou in this city of bums? It's like looking for a needle in a haystack..._

_:The Rod has touched his mind before:_ Seth broke into his thoughts quietly. _:It can be used to find him again...:_

_:Why are you helping me:_ Seto blinked. _:I want to find someone who will take my attention away from you...:_

_:I want you to be happy.: _Seth's voice was soft._ :That is all that matters to me. I am more worried about your wife. She needs you more than anything and anyone now...:_

_:Jou might need me as much or more...:_ He argued quickly. It was the truth. The Rod was tugging him deeper into the bad part of town. _:Especially where we're going... and he's been here for so long...:_

_:It is your life and your heart.:_ Seth said quietly. _:I have no right to dictate it to you.:_

Seto fell silent. _:Just let me save him, yami... please...:_

Seth nodded. _:Of course.:_

Seto nodded and followed the tug of the Rod to the darkest, dankest alley he'd seen yet. It stank like raw sewage, there were puddles of unidentifiable liquid everywhere, and he continually had to avoid them. Seth was horrified. _:We're going to take someone who is living _here

_:I have to save him:_ Seto insisted. _:It's my fault he's here, I have to get him out.:_

_:So you say:_ Seth murmured, and fell silent. Seto continued his way into the alley. The Rod "tugged" him right an he turned to see a very large, dirty box now in front of him.

_:He's here...:_

Seth "felt"disgusted. _:And we have to touch whatever's in there:_

"Yes, you ass..." Seto muttered. "Jou? Are you in there?"

The box moved a bit, and a slightly cracked, hoarse voice drifted out of it. "What's that, Red-eyes? You don't say..."

"..." Seto knelt down and looked in the box. Jounouchi Katsuya was petting his Red-Eyes Black Dragon card and talking to it. While he couldn't fault him- God knew he'd done the same thing to his Blue-Eyes more than once in the asylum- it was still rather unnerving. "Jounouchi?"

Glazed and bloodshot brown eyes met his. "Huh? How'd you know that?"

Seto sighed "I see you haven't gotten any better..." He studied him openly. His hair was filthy and matted, his clothes even dirtier and torn, and the smell was appalling. "Christ, Jounouchi, I've seen dead men better than you..."

Jou blinked dazedly up at him. "You have pretty blue eyes..."

Seto sighed. _Dammit..._ He quickly pulled on a pair of leather gloves and grabbed Jou by the hair. "Get out of there..."

Jou yelped loudly and scrambled out. "Ok, ok, hold on a minute..." He grabbed his deck- which, amazingly, was in good condition- and stood up slowly, wavering a bit.

Seto made a note to disinfect all his clothing when they got back to the mansion. Ann burn his gloves. And Jou's clothing. "Come on, let's go home. We need to get you cleaned up..." His nose wrinkled. "In more ways than one..."

"Hol' on..." Jou stumbled over and kicked another bum, lying nearby. Slurred curses were exchanged, and Jou snatched several packets of something from the other man. Seto sighed mentally. Another problem to take care of.

"Ok..." the blonde stumbled back. "Where're we goin' again?"

"Home," Seto said shortly and hauled him off. He didn't dare take a limo. God knew what the driver would think. God knew how bad the smell would be in a small, confined area. Besides, it wasn't too far of a walk.

Only about ten miles.

_Dammit._

Halfway there, he got a cab. They smelled foul anyway, this wasn't much of a change.

He dragged Jou, who still seemed blissfully out of it, into the mansion without alerting anyone to the fact that he was home, and shoved him into the nearest bathroom. "Strip. Now. To the skin."

Jou blinked at him, then realization dawned. "Ohhh... well, if you'd told me that's what you wanted we coulda done it back at th' alley... didn' have ta come here..." He started to undress, leaving his clothes in a little pile.

"_No_." Seto said firmly. "You're taking a _bath_, Jou. Get in the tub."

"Aw, you want me clean, huh?" Jou shrugged and got into the tub, slowly starting to come down off his high.

Seto sighed softly. _In more ways than one..._ He itched to shower, but Jou was more important right now. He did, however, throw the gloves into a wastebasket and scrubbed his hands.

"Can't remember my last bath..." Jou mumbled, sinking into the water.

"I can tell," Seto muttered to himself, pulling on a pair of latex gloves and put Jou's clothing in the wastebasket with his gloves, placed his deck off to one side to be disinfected later, and rifled through the clothes, finding several interesting packets of drugs. He put a little aside to test to see what it was, then quickly flushed the rest down the toilet. Then he set the contents of the metal wastebasket on fire and watched them burn with an edge of glee. Jou seemed to be completely enthralled by the bath, however, and missed it completely.

Feeling smug and triumphant for no reason at all, Seto turned and looked at Jou. "Stay here," he commanded, and moved off into the other room to get some of his own clothing for Jou to wear. The dazed boy watched him leave, and blinked slowly, then went back to playing with the water.

Seto returned in moments and dumped fresh clothes to one side and approached Jou. "Time to scrub." He held out a brush, the kind used to curry horses.

Jou took one look at it and paled. At least he had that much sense about him still. "You- you're not touchin' me with that!"

Seto threw a washcloth and some sweetly-scented soap at him. "Then scrub. We can do this the hard way or the easy way." He tapped the Rod against his leg. "I am not adverse to either."

Jou went, if possible, even paler. "G-g-get that thing away from me!"

Seto raised an eyebrow, but put it aside. "Very well. Then scrub. I'll do your hair." He stalked over and made a face. "As best as I can..."

"Right..." Jou started to scrub himself off, making a face at how pale he was under all the grime.

Seto finally poured water over his hair and shook his head. "Get out, this water is too dirty..." He pulled the plug and let it drain while he pushed the other boy into the shower and stood with him, unmindful of the fact that he was getting soaked as well.

Jou was starting to tremble violently. Seto hurried him out and sat him down. "Get dressed."

Jou blinked and looked around. "Where's my stuff?"

"Your deck is in my office, I burned your clothes, and I flushed your drugs down the toilet." Seto responded crisply.

"You flushed my drugs!" Jou stood up quickly, eyes slightly panicked.

"Yes, I did. Sit down," Seto's voice was slightly harsh. Jou sat. "Listen to me. You don't need the drugs. You need to relax. You need to eat something. You need to rest. You do _not_ need the drugs, understand?"

Jou nodded numbly, eyes vacant. Seto continued. "You will not be alone at any time. I will be with you, or Mokuba. Or my yami, Seth. If we cannot be with you, you will be sitting with my wife, Tasmin. Is that understood?"

"Yeah..." Jou nodded slowly.

"Good. Now let's get you something small to eat, and I need you to meet Tasmin.."

Jou nodded and let himself be steered off towards the kitchen. Seto crammed some food down his throat, not much, but some, then dragged him back to meet Tasmin. He actually felt a little nervous now. What was she going to think of him? A strung-out street punk her husband had once known...

He didn't have to worry about that. She was unconscious. She looked like shit too. Seto leaned close to him and murmured in his ear, as if he were afraid of waking her. "She's been through hell. My stepfather raped her repeatedly, beat her, tortured her, knocked her up, then made her miscarry four hours ago. So watch yourself."

Jou winced. "Oh, _damn_... Poor girl, no wonder she looks so bad... Hey, I won't lay a hand on her or anything, I swear..."

Mokuba glanced up. "Niichan? Jou!"

Seto smiled at Mokuba. "Hey, little brother... any change?" Jou simply waved a bit.

Mokuba shook his head sadly. "She stirred a little bit a while ago, but other than that, nothing..."

Seto sighed softly. "All right, thank you, Mokuba, I'll talk to you later, all right? And feel free to go to sleep, don't stay up all night looking at her."

Mokuba chuckled softly. "Ok, niichan, you sleep too."

Seto nodded. "I will..." He ushered Jou into a separate bedroom with two twin beds in it, right next to a bathroom. "I've been on every sort of drug known to man, Jou... I know what you're going to go through, and I know how hellish it's going to be..."

Jou gave a dry snort, sounding more like his old self than he had yet. "Joyous. Thanks for the encouragement, Kaib."

Seto snorted at him. "You're welcome. I'm exhausted. I'm going to sleep. I suggest you do the same. But don't sneak out... Seth will be keeping an eye on you."

Jou sighed. "I'll only get up to go to the bathroom, ok? I promise."

Seto nodded. "Good. Goodnight." He fell into bed and was unconscious nearly instantly. Jou sighed. He really _was_ exhausted.

For that matter, Jou wasn't in much better shape. He also lay down and curled up. He knew he had to sleep, because all too soon, he'd be in the bathroom throwing up everything he'd eaten today, and yesterday, and probably, it would feel like, for years.

At least he wasn't alone this time. It was some comfort. He smiled as he drifted of to sleep. It was the first time he had fallen asleep smiling for years.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  


A/N: . Oy... life sucks... I'm gonna be posting less and less as school gets worse and worse... damn Organic Chem! I'm not sure how I did, but... er... I'd rather not think about it...

**Dark Magician Girl/Hikaru:** Oh, yes, a fivesome. : grins: It'll show up sooner or later... just need to decide when... Trust me, it'll be most interesting. : grins more: Be very jealous of Tasmin... I torture her a lot, but I _always _make it up to her... :; snickers:

**nicole-purple:** "Wrath of Khan"? _Funny_? What planet are _you_ from? We are _so_ debating this later, but you're at work now so I can't... . ...

**leafzelindor**: Gak! Finally got it out! Behold the Jou-torment! Bwaahahahahahaha!

Um... will... more people review? Please: chibi-eyes:


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